Wednesday, March 10, 2021
Brucie (21.01.1964 - 27.02.2021)
It has taken me quite some time to put these words down, in part, because I’ve had this weird hope that what we are all going through right now it is not real and I’d wake up, the other reason, how can you distil a life filled with so many stories, experiences, friends, and love into a 2-page talk?
Why do we arrive at this day and feel a sense of regret in not telling the people we love these things? I never told Brucie this, but the worst day of my life was the day I stood at Central Station (Platform 1) hugging you and then watching your train pull away to a new adventure in Western Australia. At the time, I thought my world was over. It was a hard concept to understand as an eleven-year-old. You came back! Filled with great stories of the beautiful times you shared with Monique. I will never forget the first night you both arrived back home to Fuchsia Cres, Bomo and the fully belly ache laughs at the same time, food always spilling out of your mouth. That moment was pure perfection. This worst day gets pushed way down the list now. No prizes for guessing what is on the top of the list.
Our family was filled with love, fun and best of all, the simple and pure joy of growing up, for the most part, on the south coast. Mum and Dad were the greatest to not just us five kids, but to all and anyone that came into our little homes in Berry and later Bomaderry. We had our fair share of knocks, but the balance sheet always recorded a healthy profit when you amass the memories. Times in the backyard, on the beach, camping holidays and play wrestling with Brucie. He had this one trick where he would pin me down and ever so carefully suspend saliva/spit, retracting at just the right time.
The last week or so, I have felt a weird sense of reflective calm. I am forever grateful to my beautiful wife Beni and incredible daughters Sunday and Olive, for putting up with my musical journey and extended surfing in the past week or so. This has really helped me recall my memories of Brucie. At the weekend just past, I concluded that he had devised a system that placed the greatest value on those things that you could not put a price on. I am going to call this the Bruce Index.
This Index represents the true essence of my dear brother. For me, the following will be your enduring legacy:
1. Passion for Experiences. I will always treasure the shared memories of surfing, bush walking, belly ache laughs, rumbles, reading the herald, picking our noses (sorry Beni/Marguerite), getting excited about growing vegetables, early pre-dawn paddle outs at Pipe, afternoon snoozes, frequenting the ‘’all you can eat’’ pasta restaurants of Newport. I must track that poor fellow down and apologise for our eating prowess.
2. Your love of Mother Earth and all the wonders she provides. The excitement of spotting a bird that we were both obsessing about at the time, running up pigeon house and hearing about your travels to the wild corners of this country.
3. Your love of Bronte and Wilson and the great women you shared your life with. Monique and Marguerite, you will always be sisters to me.
4. Your immense conviction for social justice, equity and fairness for all. If this next bit offends anyone, well good and I don’t care. Thank you for teaching me the importance of hating the Liberals. That is one plus for you right now, you do not have to put up with that lot again. I’ll keep up the fight my brother!
5. And lastly, your deep love of friends and family. There are too many people to list. I extend my love and gratitude to the following people, as you were held so dear to him:
i. Our dear family (Mum, Dad, Leanne, Fernando, Bron, Shane, Ali, Art and Beni and all your beautiful nieces). His many brothers and sisters…..Todd, Joe, Jules and Antony, DL, Penny and Dirk, Liz and James, Animal, Christine and Ebby, AF and Coxie, Jimmy T, Mick P, Dartza and John, Mr and Mrs Cole, Louise and Ike, Unya, Jelle, Joost, Sellena, Victoria and Anne. I am sure there are many others, omission was not deliberate.
What do we do now? I do struggle with this. How can we apply the Bruce Index to our lives? I think it is simple. We must not get caught up on the meaningless things of life. We must put our energies into making the world we live in a better place. Fellow brothers be gentle and caring! Call out anyone who disrespects women or treats them as anything but equals. Or indeed, if this is you, stop now and change. It is complete bullshit what society has become today. All people, care for the earth and each other!
Do not wait till it is too late to tell your loved ones what they mean to you.
Being a Windsor, I had to think about how to stop talking today. We are renowned for raving on. I stumbled across this poem the other day in the Herald, I will finish by reading it. It is by the great Ralph Waldo Emerson, and it sums up my brother to a tee!
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you lived here. This is to have succeeded.
Thank you and goodbye my dear Brucie. I’ll see you again one day.
Love Jay
