Contributions to the tribute of John Charles Haynes

L

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

I have really fond memories of John from over the past ( wow I can't believe it is) nearly 40 years. Meeting him back in the Fairfield days - and him telling Sandy and I to behave ourselves when we went down to Karen and David's for the weekend. John was always moving, always running around doing something for his girls. From the early days (pre Lisa) calling into Turning Heads to drop something off or pick something up. John would do anything for his girls - drive them places, picking things up for them. Even taking Karen's washing off the line - cleaning up for her! Always with a smile on his face and asking "how are you". His eyes lid up when he saw Barbara, Karen, Michelle and Sandy - and then when the adored grandchildren Lisa, Shaun and James - he quickly embraced and absolutely adored him. I am so pleased he got to meet Abigail. Bob would want me to mention how much he appreciated all the calls he has received from John for over the past 10 years. John regularly called to chat to dad and to see how he was going. Bob really appreciated and I know if has really concerned him when John's help deteriorated this year. Take care Barbara, Karen, Michelle, Sandy, David, Glenn, Tony, Lisa, Jared, Shaun, Liv & James. love Linda xxx

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Popey posted a condolence

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

I remember when we were kids he would always take Sandy and I to the footy to watch the Rabbitohs. We would always stop at the servo and fill up on as much chocolate and chips as we wanted. When we were in the car with him he would always try and embarrass us by yelling out to kids on bikes “hey mate your wheels are going around” lol but we use to just laugh and hide. He use to okay hide and seek with us and we would all hide and turn the lights off and even though we knew it was him he would scare us every time. Memories of him walking up the road every morning with the dogs. I think it was Fonzie if I can remember rightly. Some fond memories.

K

Karen Cunnningham Posted Oct 13, 2020 at 4:40 AM

Hi Julie! I’d forgotten about that back wheel going around, he did that all the time! We will miss him very much. Karen. Xx

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Shaun Cunningham uploaded photo(s)

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

When I was younger, Pop used to get me a Souths membership for my birthday and some of my fondest memories was of Pop taking me to games in Wollongong and Sydney. Pop used to love making a day of it, we would get up early to grab a feed before the game, and Pop would always strike up conversations with others because he was wearing his Souths jersey so proudly! Pop believes in teaching us life skills from a young age. I remember him teaching me how to hook up the trailer to the commodore practically before I could walk. I remember afternoons in the garage at Lambs crescent, helping him paint and clean the trailer. Growing up I thought it was normal to have a spotlessly clean trailer that perfectly matches the colour of your car, but that was just Pop. Another life skill Pop taught me early was learning to drive, some of my earliest memories was when we pulled into Lambs crescent, pop would let me sit on his lap and steer the car down the street and into the driveway. Continuing on the tradition the Pop started with Mum, Sandy and Shelly, POP used to take me and 3 mates to Luna Park each year. We would arrive just before the gates opened and he would sit there all day, holding our back packs and watching us go on every single ride! His favourite were the rides in cony island. On the way home we would always stop at Heathcote maccas for nuggets, chips and a soft serve. I’m not sure what happened with the Luna Park tradition for Lisa though, Pop used to take her for a day trip to Sydney to spend the day riding laps on the old monorail before coming home. Clearly I was the favourite.

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Lisa Cunningham uploaded photo(s)

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Our Pop - Speech from Funeral Our Pop was a wonderful man, there was nothing in this world he was more proud of then us grandkids, and more recently a great-grand baby. As far back as I can remember he was a larger than life person to me. He shaped my values as a person, partner and more recently a parent. He was full of knowledge, strength, love, compassion, courage and laughter. Pop was a practical joker who never stopped smiling, was our biggest supporter and our number one fan. He never missed a sporting match, school assembly, dance concert, birthday or play date at the park. It was Pop who you called for a lift to a friends when we were younger, or home from husky pub when shaun and I got older. He always took an interest in our lives and our friends. Everyone who knew him, loved him! He knew all our friends, their footy teams and their interests. I’ll miss the warmth he extended to everyone he met. He brought a lot of love into this world, being the head of a family mostly dominated with strong (and often loud) daughters, their husbands and us grandkids. We hope to carry on his memory, his wisdom, his humor, and his genes, Shaun thanks you for the hairy back and receding hairline! Growing up, Pop was a daily presence our in lives. When Shaun and I lived in Woden Street, he would drive over every single morning before school to give Jack the dog a single biscuit and then would come to our back door while we were having breaky to check we were wearing a singlet under our uniform and then would give us a single smarty each. Pop believed you weren’t ready for the day unless you had a singlet on and something on the feet! Over the years pop had a tradition of entering the names of each family member into the local 2ST radio Monty Moscitto birthday cake competition. James, Shaun and I seemed to always win! And I remember pop taking me up to Mel’s bakery to pick out a cake each year! We spent most weekends having a sleep over at Nan and Pops, a constant highlight was hearing Pops car pull out of the garage as Nan was putting us to bed, because it meant he was driving down to husky cinema to buy us a choc top ice cream which he would then sneak up to us when Nan thought we were asleep. These sleep overs were also full of Pops practical jokes, mostly which centred around Nan. I used to love when pop would put a hair brush in nans bed, so when she got in, the brissels would feel like a spider running up her leg. Pop loved collecting! He started a coin collection for me and a stamp collection for Shaun and James. He also managed to collect every single item from every promotion that the local woollies or newspaper used to run. From Ooshies to sports cards and books. Pop never missed one. The most recent was a set of Australian books he collected for Abigail while I was pregnant and that’s something we will keep forever. As I got older pop stayed involved in every aspects of our lives, he spent hours volunteering at my high school with the breakfast club program I set up! The students loved him because he always used to slip kids extra slices of toast and treats. Pop and I both have the same rare blood type, and used to always teach me the importance of giving back, whenever possible. Pop used to donate his blood regular, which inspired me to do the same. Pop made in incredible 99 donations to the Red Cross blood bank, and sadly missed out on hitting the 100 mark due to his stents that he had to have put in. Pop set the bench mark for what a husband and father should be. He showed me what it meant to love his wife and kids unconditionally and I always said growing up that I wanted to meet someone like him. Pop, you taught us right from wrong, and the importance of generosity and putting others first. Pop, you were such a kind man, thank you for teaching us that family and the south Sydney Rabbitohs were the most important thing in this world. We love you.

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Sandy uploaded photo(s)

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

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Sandy posted a condolence

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Living with Lewy Body Dementia I don’t believe my dad has gone to a better place, the best place for him is here with us, but I do know his brain is no longer tortured and his body is at rest. Above our knowledge to manage dads Lewy Body Dementia with Parkinson Capgrass, we found many Doctors, Nurses, family & friends did not really understand it . Dementia with Lewy body and Parkinson’s the medical term : The Lewi-Body form of dementia is a relatively new diagnosis, having only been identified in 1996, although the condition has always been around. Lewy body dementia is the second most common type of progressive dementia after Alzheimer’s. Protein deposits called ‘Lewy bodies’ develop in the nerve cells in the brain regions involved in thinking, memory, movement & progressive decline in mental abilities. One of the hallmarks of Lewy body dementia is the fluctuation in mental state. Often lucid & clear one day & on the next totally disengaged, confused, disoriented & bewildered. This can occur over a period of hours or minutes. Capgrass- they believe someone they know has been replaced by an imposter. The person experiencing this delusion may believe an animal or object to be an imposter. My term of Lewy Body: It’s a horrific disease that torments the brain; the hallucinations can be pleasant or can be horrifying!! Generally they see animals and children, the disease wouldn’t be so bad if that was all they saw, but the hallucinations can also be horrifying causing extreme paranoia. Rewind 19 yrs ago ... dad had severe shakes & nightmares, doctors thought it could be the start of Parkinson’s but later dad was diagnosed at St Vincent’s with essential tremors. Dad was pretty good over the next few years and then we started to notice a slight change in his memory. Towards the end of last year, Dad would drive to the shops, but forget he had and would walk home. He yelled out to mum, Barb my car is gone, someone stole it... you drove down John it’s at the shops... oh I did too!! Another trip to the shops he came home sat on lounge, John were is the shopping.... oh I think I left it at the shops... on his return his shopping bags were outside the newsagents where he left them! Mum would notice dad driving at 20km along Elizabeth Dr with cars beeping behind, even going through a red light once, he would head down to Lambs Cres instead of Bayswood on their way home. Mum had to chat to him about giving up his license for the safety of everyone. This was a difficult time for dad, he loved driving. Tony took mum and dad in and the man at the RTA commented to dad that he should be commended on handing his licence in , what a courageous thing to do especially when your wife does not drive! Not long after dad would tell mum he was going to sit for his licence again & why can’t he drive anymore, ‘I’m a good driver!’ Dad started to see things around the house, oblivious to us he was having hallucinations. He would tell mum to get the pest inspector out as he could see and hear ants crawling everywhere and they probably white ants!! Or the time he called tony to fix the cracks around the house, but tony could find any cracks. Fast forward 2020: The fires were a stressful time for dad, thinking the house would burn down, Michelle packed mum and dad up and took then to Wollongong for a few nights. Then Covid hit Mum and dad went into lock down at home. We would drop off shopping and keep our distance... dad started to worsen not doing his normal daily routine..... A few weeks went by and dad was very unsettled at night, screaming out and waking confused he also fell out of bed one night and split his head. Then the sleepless nights started, it was a nightmare for all of us. He was packing and unpacking bags, hiding his possessions thinking someone was going to rob him and talking to other people he could see in the room. Then he said to me one day, who is that pointing to mum.. it’s mum dad, yes I know but your mum or mine? Mum took him for another doctors assessment. At every appointment dad would say he was on top of the world couldn’t be better and answer the questions perfectly because he had practiced them so that the Doctors wouldn’t think he had anything wrong. Mum realized she needed to make an appointment on her own to explain to the doctor what was really going on at home. One time he removed all the light globes, through their electric blanket in the bin, put the rubbish in the washing machine and convinced mum to buy a new vacuum as theirs wasn’t working. Mum cooked spag bowl one night in the electric frypan, the next day it was gone, dad said he threw it out because he saw lights flashing on it and it was going to blow up. Dads doctor refered him to the geriatric team at the hospital to be re assessed and was then diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. Mum woke to find dad with the garden shears in his hand one night, John what are you doing! I’m just trying to work out what wall to open up so I can cut the electrical cords, they are glowing red and the house is about to blow up! It was the end of May when we had to call an ambulance one night, dad hadn’t slept for 3 nights and was extremely anxious and irritable. I thought they could just give him a pill to calm down but they didn’t. But they wouldn’t take him... I think now they thought nothing was wrong with him!! so Michelle drove while I sat in the back holding dads hand telling him he was sick and needed a doctor to check him out. I spent the night in emergency with dad, I didn’t let go of his hand, begging him to close his eyes and sleep and when he wakes I could take him home.... but he woke every 10 minutes... finally he had been asleep for almost an hour when all hell broke loose in ER with alarms going off! dad jumped up thinking the alarm was the train he was about to miss and be late to work... he saw monkeys on the rings if the curtains... I remember just laying with him crying.... dad please go to sleep or you won’t get better. ( I still thought he would get better!) Back home and we went through it all again. Not sleeping for 3 nights, he was delirious and confused. Wandering all night, mum no sleep trying to get dad back to bed, stopping him from walking out the front door at 2am. We then got a night nurse in who to help, she would sit up while mum got some sleep and make dad a cuppa, talk & even give him a back massage which was his favourite. Then us girls would take turns going over each morning to check in on them, most mornings we would take dad so mum could get some rest. Mum started holding on to dads Pj so she knew if he woke and tried to get up. Dad was admitted to the geriatric ward at the hospital there he stayed for 2 weeks. The worst 2 weeks of my life! It was the realisation that dad was very sick. Covid and restricted visiting hours! It’s here I noticed how bad dads hallucinations were, one of my visits I would walk him outside to sit on a bench seat overlooking the shoalhaven river a few boats went past and I said look at those boats dad, you used to take us skiing here, he had a blank look on his face and replied with - look at those crocodiles, 5,6 I think 7 of them, sandy we need to move now as one of the crocodiles is coming towards us.... then there was the man on the telegraph wires working to fix the wires but he was balancing on a bike with one wheel.... how he hasn’t fallen off dad would say! To dad the patients were dead or severely beaten up in that ward, he would say don’t look over there, her face her face! Don’t open that door they are all dead.The nights Wardsman who dad used to work with years prior in security, would to call me most nights around 10 asking me to tell dad to get to sleep, he was packing his bag and waking around the ward all night... we would talk to dad and calm him... please go to sleep dad we will see you in the morning... The team assessed dad and started him on anti psychotic medication to try and lessen the vividness of the hallucinations and help him sleep. After 2 weeks it was apparent to them that dad needed professional care 24/7. We didn’t take too well to that and thought perhaps we can try respite for a few weeks while the new meds kick in and them bring him home. We celebrated mum and dads 59th wedding anniversary in the hospital, they allowed us to bring in cake and flowers for dad to give to mum...dad had a bad night and morning,the celebrations wasn’t so happy . He was transferred to BAsin View Masonic village, only lasting 2 nights in low care before being moved into high care....as he wandered into other rooms, jumping into bed thinking he was with mum, this broke our hearts. I still thought he would only be in for a few days or weeks until his medication kicked in and could sleep, then we could bring him home... but unfortunately that didn’t happen. On our visits we each had a special thing we did with dad, mum would take fruit and helped him add stamps to his album & she was able to have lunch daily with dad. Michelle took a chocolate paddle pop and read the paper and did the puzzles, and Karen arrived with smiths chips or a scorched peanut bar to share while she coloured in and painted with him. My thing was the thermos of coffee, slice or cupcake. Dad always used tea tree oil and I would take a bottle in and rub it between his toes and massaged his feet & legs to keep him calm and often to get him off to sleep. One of the elderly residents was in a wheelchair, dad thought she was a baby boy, referring her to little baby james on most occasions... one particular day on change over of staff dad asked with a worried and panicked look on his face... where is my baby? Where is my baby? They bought dad out a baby doll... to there suprise dad said thats not a baby.. that’s a doll do u think I’m stupid!! Watch the puppies sandy, they’re at your feet, ok dad come on puppies out you get... I would walk to the door and open it to let them out, I would catch dad putting a biscuit into his pocket, is that if you get hungry later dad, no I’m saving the biscuits for the puppy in the room next door, can’t you hear it Sandy? I’m sure when dad had his first fall it was in that room leaning over trying to feed a biscuit to what he thought was a puppy! Dad wasn’t scared of any animals he saw, one day a massive gorilla was on the bed... don’t make any sudden moves sandy a big gorilla is sitting next to you... will it hurt me dad, no it will go away soon. Living in his mind must have been like a torture chamber. He tried to fight what was happening inside his brain, and the man we thought was invincible, fought to the very end. The trauma of him seeing his family hurt beyond recognition and seeing soldiers shooting at him, not sleeping at night, worried he needed to work, thinking he was 50 not 80, not realising he was retired and being frustrated not able to remember the names of things and finishing sentences. When I told him he was 80, he looked up and said ‘shit, how did that happen?’ get me a mirror do I look like an old coger???let me see what I look like!!!’ Sadly dad started critical paletic care about 2 weeks ago and it was evident that he was nearing the end of his life. Seeing dad sleeping peacefully for the first time in 6 months bought comfort to us. We took turns sleeping by dads side for the final 5 nights spending 24 hours a day with him. Last Monday night was my turn and I still took my thermos of coffee but also snuck a little wine in and said cheers dad.... sleep well tonight. Dad was checked every 3 hours and it was the 6am check that I noticed a slight change in breathing and his colour. Holding tight to his hand and telling dad endlessly I love you DA duck , it’s now your turn to rest. He took his last breath at 8.30 Mum, Michelle and Karen arrived with in minutes. RIP dad your brain is no longer tormented I will miss u my entire life I will always be your little girl.

M

Michelle and James uploaded photo(s)

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Michelle's Tribute Our Dad THE HERO A formidable force, he was always our protector, 1000% proud of what we did, encouraged us to do our best, guiding us through good times and bad, holding sted fast in his strength and love. Dad was our safe haven, and we always felt secure wrapped in his arms. After Sandy complained about a boy picking on her at school, he arrived the next day, dressed in his suit. He approached the boy and said these very words ‘I am detective John Haynes from the Fairfield Police Station. If you ever pick on Sandra again, I will arrest you and put you in jail.’ Every day for a month after that, the boy walked Sandy home carrying her bag, and they became best mates. Friday afternoons at lunchtime, dad would arrive at the school fence with a bucket of KFC for us to share with our friends. I remember a few teachers lining up for a wing or a leg, and having a chat to dad. One day, we heard a boy outside ringing the bell of his bike. Dad stood up and said to Karen ‘Stop, if a boy cannot come and knock on my door to ask you out, he is not taking you out.’ The very next day, that same boy came knocking on the door. Dressed in green stubbie shorts, a blue singlet, black thongs, with Fonzie the dog, dad waited at the front door of our Thursday night school discos, friends pointing out ‘Haynes, your dads here’ we pleaded with him to move around the corner but nope, he always turned up just as the last song was playing, so we couldn’t pash on. FAMILY DA Duck was our special name for him, I have no idea where it originated from, but it was, and still is, our favourite. He called Karen Kaz Baz I was Shell Bell and Sandy was Sandcastles. He used the word Goolup whenever he didn’t want to answer a question, and called us obstorpolus instead of naughty. Mum and dad always included us in everything they did. Mum loved entertaining and we rehearsed our dance moves to Abba, dressing up, glitter on our cheeks, dancing and singing for them in between the main meal and dessert. Dad told us we had amazing talent and that we could be famous… Dad was a hard worker, with a no bullshit attitude. He instilled in us at a young age, a good work ethic and money was earned not given. He was always available to drive us to our after school or weekend jobs at the local corner store or the Marconi Club canteen. In our teenage years, on a particular new years eve, we were partying in the caravan park at Shoalhaven heads. He and mum were enjoying wine with friends while us girls took a few bottles of red to the beach to enjoy with our mates, having no idea those bottles were from his vintage collection. I am sure the reason he started the lawn mower just outside our window at 6am on news years day, was a message letting us know he had counted those bottles and knew what was missing… THE PRACTICAL JOKER Dad took pleasure in scaring us being a monster some nights, our toes curling hiding behind the curtains, hoping we weren’t found. He found us in the end, silently approaching, we were too scared to breath, but laughing once caught! We belonged to the black tyre bikie gang; our cubby house was our head office. Dad helped us set boobie traps for our enemies, and gave us the biggest padlock and key for the front door after being raided by the boys. DADS MOTTOS Always tell the truth and you won’t get in trouble One day, we rode home as fast as we could on our bikes, telling dad that we ran into a car that was parked on the footpath. We knew we wouldn’t get into trouble as we told the truth, but dad said ‘QUICK, HIDE THE BIKES AND GET UNDER THE HOUSE.’ When the owner of the car knocked on our front door, dads words were ‘Sorry mate, those kids don’t live here, try up the road.’ The best I’ve ever had When we cooked for dad and mum, dad would always finish the biscuit, cake or meal with the words ‘Thanks, that was the best I have ever had.’ That is saying something in my case, as I am not known for my culinary skills... LOVES We loved the times dad filled our ice-cream cones with malt and milo, a treat he would give us in bed. We used to sneak out and hide under the lounge, to watch Alvin Purple on TV. I am sure he and mum knew we were there, as our giggles became louder and louder. We expertly crawled like crocodiles back into our bedrooms 5 minutes before the end of the shows. Dad also loved Benny Hill, The 3 Stooges & The Paul Hogan Show. Oh how he loved ice cream, ice cream with cheesecake, ice cream and apple pie, and ice cream with Christmas pudding. I loved watching his eyes rollback as I fed him what was to be his last meal, ice cream. Lots of it, and as much as he wanted. More he would whisper, more… PERFECT Dad was a perfectionist and meticulous in keeping everything clean. There was one golden rule never to be broken, NO EATING IN THE CAR! I have a photo of him VACUUMING the front porch, not sweeping with a broom, not hosing, but vacuuming. The mould was certainly broken when he was born! A medical miracle was dad, 31 operations including melanomas and titanium hips. It is a mystery to us how he could devour all those beloved pastries and mums mouth-watering Pavlovas and cheesecakes, keeping his cholesterol level at 2! Dr Pham, I would love an answer to that please! If you ever asked dad how he was, his standard answer was ’I AM PERFECT!’ THE ESSENCE OF DAD Dad treated everyone equally, and could hold a conversation with a politician, a professor, Joe across the road, the Garbos, postmen, and the staff at the bakers, THEY ALL LOVED HIM. MEMORIES Dad had an incredible love for life, and our home was filled with love, laughter and friends from our neighbourhood. Mum and dad loved taking us out for dinner to wonderful restaurants. The classy Bar Roma was a favourite, along with the local French restaurant. No matter what was on the menu, Sandy would always ask for prawn cutlets. Prawn cutlets for entrée, and prawn cutlets for her main meal. The owner would bring dad his much loved signature pastry dessert made into a shape of a swan. He devoured those desserts, and loved taking an extra one home. Dad taught us how to swim, ride the waves at Coledale beach, drove us to Saturday morning tennis and Sunday afternoon physical culture competitions. When mum and dad traveled overseas, they were always searching for gifts for us 3 girls. Mum was buying bags of gifts and dad said ‘This is the first day of a 6 week trip, do we need another suitcase already?’ He thought it was a better idea to pack up those gifts and send them home to us, instead of carrying another suitcase for the rest of the holiday. Those boxes were filled with treasures we still have to this day. A DAD TO ADULT DAUGHTERS There was a tough initiation into the Haynes Family Juggernaut for our future husbands: Dad cooked dinner one night and hid the bum of the chook under Dave’s mashed potato. When Dave finished eating, dad said …’HOW WAS YOUR POTATO DAVE? I HID THE CHOOKS BUM UNDER IT’. Dave didn’t know which way to look, Karen was mortified and mum Sandy and I laughed so much we had tears in our eyes. Tony, not sure how he slipped through being a Bulldogs follower, and Glenn, well, being a Souths supporter, he was fast tracked through, not needing to answer any further questions. DAD THE HUSBAND THE GREATEST THING A FATHER CAN DO FOR HIS DAUGHTERS IS TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER …and love mum he did… I remember asking him what made him fall in love with mum, without hesitating, he said ‘I loved her the first time I set eyes on her, and I knew she would be a beautiful wife and mother.’ Dad was always buying mum presents. He was filled with excitement with his surprises, a curling wand for her hair, a leather bag, and a size 10 sexy as red lace negligee. Mum was a size 16 and we all burst out laughing when it didn’t quite fit. Valentines Days were big on dad agenda. He would ring us girls the night before, telling us in great detail the themed gifts he had ready for mum. Pink roses and pink champagne one year, to red roses & red heart shaped chocolates the next. Ever the romantic, while in San Merino on their 45th wedding anniversary, in an old castle, dad presented mum with her beloved gold Egyptian head pendant and chain, on the balcony of their room, and organised cocktails for everyone, celebrating with violins playing in the background. The day dad called us girls to a ‘quiet family meeting’ we were worried. Mum was nowhere to be seen. ‘Girls, I want to renew your mother and my wedding vows for our 50th anniversary. You can’t tell mum, I want it to be a surprise. A limo, celebrant, cake, and a nice family dinner. ’I WANT THE WORKS FOR HER.’ The look on dads face that night when mum realised what was happening was priceless, and full of love. Dad was given a rare woman, he loved mum with every enth of his being, and she loved him. With his last conscience breath, he whispered to her, ‘I HAVE LOVED YOU ALL MY LIFE, AND WILL LOVE YOU UNTIL THE DAY I DIE.’ She replied: ‘YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, AND I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK.’ Mum, you have lost your irreplaceable other half. You have been dads fierce protector over the last 12 months, brave beyond anything I have ever seen, watching his rapid decline with lewy body dementia, a horrific disease. You held stedfast in your strength and love like no other. To honour you dad, we promise to live full happy lives, and will look after mum as well as you looked after her. I will miss you beyond forever; you have left a hole in my heart, too big to repair. James’ Tribute - My pop was like a father to me, he was funny, friendly and loving. - Pop taught me my soccer and cricket skills, we spent hours and hours in the back yard, kicking and throwing the ball. - Pop was there to cheer me on when Husky won the 2018 soccer grand final. - I loved how we used to wear matching ray bans, and when he volunteered in my school canteen, how he used to give me free ice blocks. - I loved how we used to build the wooden jumps in the garage for all of our match box cars. - My mates loved you and I loved you. Thanks for everything Pop.

K

Karen Cunningham uploaded photo(s)

Monday, October 12, 2020

Dads Eulogy - By Karen Cunningham Thanks Narelle, he certainly was loved by all who met him! Our dad was a man like no other, he had so much love to give. Words can’t really describe the depth of his love for his family and the powerful bond we shared. Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate 80 magnificent years of our dad’s life. Dad grew up in Randwick and went to Maroubra Boys High School, not a keen scholar he preferred to be riding a horse around Centennial Park, surfing at Coogee Beach and riding his bike. He thought it was hilarious to attach a siren to the handle bars of his bike and would turn it on in a crowd to get people to clear a path as he rode around town! Dad often spoke about helping his father with his fruit and vegetable deliveries and the early morning trips they made together to the markets. He had fond memories of his job as the Randwick paperboy and only a month ago was naming the streets of his run to me and all his regular customers. Dad worked in a variety of jobs during his life time. Following in his fathers footsteps he completed his apprenticeship as a fitter and turner and worked his way up to become a foreman at Ainsworth in Rosebery. After he was married he started up his own tooling business, weekend landscaping business and worked nights at Fairfield RSL. When he moved to Vincentia Dad sat for his security guard license and was excited to tell mum he was now trained to use a gun. His first job was in the Armaguard van and only lasted a day! He said he had to stay locked in a confined compartment of the van with only a peep hole to look out and it scared the shit out of him! He was a security guard at Albatross and Cresswell until he retired at 60. One of his mates told us that dad would often fall asleep during night shift in the guard house at Cresswell and so he would scratch on the door to make the sound of a kangaroo and when dad woke up he would through a bunger in and scare the life out of him! Dad would get back at him one night by throwing rocks on the roof! And so started some practical jokes with his work mates! After the bank at Sanctuary Point was robbed he was employed to do night shift inside holding his gun until the door was repaired. Mum laughed telling me that he fell asleep on the job again and was startled awake by the cleaners the next morning! Lucky he didn’t accidentally shoot them! What a fantastic security guard! Dad met mum, the love of his life Barbara in 1958 at the Odean picture theatre in Randwick. He was there with a mate who was dating mums friend. Mum tells me that he bought her an ice cream and offered to walk her home to Kingsford which was a very long way, and she remembers how easily the conversation flowed between them. Mum was only 15 at the time and was first attracted to his good looks! Dad was 18 and thought mum was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes upon. That was the start of there love affair that would span 62 wonderful years. They spent many days at Coogee beach, weekends away camping and hanging out with friend at the local pubs. Their courtship lasted 3 years before they got engaged and married. It was a humble wedding with the reception being held at Nan and pops house in Daceyville. They lived in a small rented unit in Kingsford for the next 3 years that they had done up with furniture and bits and pieces that they got from family and friends. Mum loved entertaining and cooking for dinner parties and card nights, dad said she was a fabulous cook. Weekends were spent going to the footy to support the mighty Rabbitohs. While visiting Dad’s grandparents one day they saw new house and land packages in Fairfield. At the age of 24 dad was excited to be moving into their first home the same year that their first baby was born, which was me. 275 Hamilton Road became our family home and for us, one of the happiest places on earth. The birth of Michelle and then Sandra completed the Haynes family. All of my memories from growing up in Fairfield are happy ones. Dad turned that house into a home. He built the best cubby house, made us a see saw and a swing set, but the piece de resistance was the swimming pool he installed. Digging out the dirt by hand was a labor of love and I remember dad asking me to shoot a home video of him in action, he acted up to the camera well and did a fast motion dig to show me how he was as strong as Steve Austin - The 6 million dollar man! He finished the pool area with a spectacular garden and an elevated timber deck that was perfect for us girls to sun bake, it bought dad so much joy when he would sneak up and do a bomb in the pool and splash us just to hear us scream! He loved to play tricks and practical jokes on anyone and everyone! Our cousin Cathy spent most school holidays with us and remembers the fun of being tossed off her Uncle Johns shoulders into the pool. Cathy told me that dad was larger than life to her as a child, someone she could trust, he made her feel safe and very much loved. All the kids in the neighborhood were welcome at 275, it was nothing for dad to whip up a plate of Devon sandwiches and GI cordial to keep our friends fed. For parties he would cook Johns special home made burgers! A handmade pattie that he had minced from left over lamb served on hot buttered toast! The kids all loved them. He set up a screen and movie projector in the garage so we could host movie nights with old black and white films like Little Rascals and Laurel and Hardy. He made popcorn and gave us ice creams so it felt like we were all at the cinema. Dad was a huge hit with all our friends, every body loved him. It takes a special kind of man to welcome his mother in law to move in and live with them. Dad had a soft spot for my Nan and when pop passed away he put a caravan in the backyard for her to live in. He called her Dosy and loved to play jokes on her. My favorite was how he would often touch her face and say is that your real face? Nan would say yes John. You could get a job haunting houses with a face like that! He loved and cared for her like she was his own mother and she loved him back. On the weekends Nan would invite him into the van for home made pikelets and a cup of tea. They had a special bond. Mum and dads first overseas trip was to Singapore with friends in the early 80’s. They had a fabulous time and certainly got the travel bug. The following 20 years saw them travel all over the world. Dad loved to make every experience special for mum and he always told the airline or hotel it was mum’s birthday or their wedding anniversary so they would receive champagne or chocolates! That trick was passed onto Sandy she does it all the time! One of the many highlights for dad was climbing the great wall in China. Near their hotel in Beijing was a tunnel where the homeless took shelter, dad would take the fruit bowl from the breakfast buffet each morning and give it to them and have a quick chat. Mum tells me that on the day they flew out, he gave them all of his clothes. He befriended the homeless in many cities, stopping for a quick chat or buying them a coffee when he had the chance. In San Francisco he saw a man with all his possessions in a shopping trolly so he gave him his suitcase on wheels and tried to jam his clothes in with mum’s. That’s my dad, so much kindness and compassion, wanting to make the world a better place, always doing a good deed for someone. When I married and moved to Nowra, mum and dad bought an on-site van at Shoalhaven Heads. We spent so many wonderful weekends picnicking up the river as a family and learning to ski behind dads boat. Mum and dad grew to love their trips down the coast and a couple of years later when I phoned to say that I wanted to buy the hair salon I was working in, dad suggested we buy it as a partnership and employ Sandy as the apprentice hairdresser. The year was 1985 and Turning Heads was born! The salon days were how we as a family embedded ourselves into this wonderful community. We hosted many fundraisers for local charities and organised family fun days in the Vincentia Village court yard to promote the businesses whilst bringing people together for some fun. Dad dressed up as Santa each year and sat in the hot sun all day so all the kids could tell him how good they had been. He was such a community man. He became a member of the Lions Club and later joined Rotary where put his incredible organisational skills to good use volunteering at many community events, organizing charity golf days and bingo in the park. He was elected as President for both organisations and was awarded in Lions and later Rotary the prestigious Paul Harriss fellowship for his outstanding contribution to the community. Dad enjoyed supporting mum with her volunteer work at BBCRI running the canteen at the kids discos and helping out with the Annual Duck Derby fundraiser. I can remember dad sitting on the lounge room floor numbering the plastic ducks mum has bought for the race from 1 to 1000! Always with a smile on his face, always doing a good deed! The 90’s saw the birth of his first grand daughter lisa and grand son Shaun. We still laugh about the morning Lisa was born, when Dave phoned him at 4am to say it was a girl! They all ran down the stairs and jumped in the car to get to the hospital and then mum noticed dad was naked behind the wheel he was so excited he forgot to get dressed! Arriving at the hospital in record time dad said it was quicker if we go through emergency with mum and the girls following he ran in screaming my daughter has had a baby and startled the staff! Dad was absolutely beside himself when Shaun was born to finally welcome a boy into the family! and he raced out to buy a football and started planning their trips to Sydney to watch souths play! 2007 saw the unexpected emergency for the delivery of James in Sydney. Mum was with Michelle already so Sandy drove dad and said he cried all the way, he was so excited to meet the newest family member! Dad was loving poppy and very excited to see Lisa graduate from Uni wearing one of those funny hats, a first for our family! Taking Shaun to watch the mighty Rabbitohs play not that they won many games back then but it seems they are making a come back now! And never missing a sporting match or school event for James. Dad joined the local snooker competition and took his position as captain of the team very seriously training all the young new players. He insisted on being the driver so the boys could have a few drinks after the game. Dad was a devoted and loyal South Sydney supporter and must have owned every single Souths hat and t/shirt ever made! He absolutely loved wearing the red and green and stopping to talk to strangers when out and about if they made a comment about the Rabbitohs. I’m sure that Dave being a Souths supporter is what got him a foot in the door. Dads other love in life was his Holden cars. He would wash polish and shine his car till you could see your face in it! When Tony started his car detailing business dad provided some training and work experience, sharing all his best tips so that he was sure Tony would be set on the path to success. Dad struck up a friendship with Shaun and the team at the Holden dealership in Nowra he was always welcome to stop for a coffee and a chat, he also wore his Holden tshirts with pride. One day outside St Vincent’s hospital dad spotted Russel Crow in his black BMW stopped at the traffic lights. Dad yelled Russell Russel and banged his chest to show his tshirt, Russel gave him a strange look a bit of a nod and drove off. Dad was gob smacked, he turned to us and said what was with him, why didn’t he cheer at my souths sydney tshirt? We said dad your not wearing your souths today that’s your Holden shirt! We all burst out laughing. Dad was a keen collector of Nik naks stamps and coins, he also love playing bingo, going to the raffles, buying lotto and lottery tickets, doing spot the ten and puzzles in the newspaper. Dad was a busy man, always on the go. Nothing was ever too much trouble for dad, if one of us needed him to run an errand he was always ready to oblige. If dad answered the phone I would always ask: What are you up to today dad? I’m full on Kaz, full on! I’ve made mum a cup of tea in bed, walked to the shops to get the paper bread and milk, dropped some foil up to sandy and now I’m making Mum a dippy egg with soldiers before I hang the washing out and then take James to school! And that was all by 8am! He preferred to clean up after meals so that the plates were scrapped and dishwasher packed correctly. The sink was wiped with metho and floor was swept at least 10 times a day. One of his favourite sayings was: This place and you lot will come to a grinding halt if anything ever happens to me! Oh dad if you could see us now, only a week in and Mum has stuffed the dishwasher and puts the bins out on the wrong night confusing the neighborhood and forgets to check the mail! Sandy doesn’t even know what isle the foil is in and Mum has thrown a few boiled eggs in the bin! Dad was not a religious man and when I asked him why he didn’t believe he would say religion has caused too many wars in the world and I believe that if you do a person a good deed and never a bad one then you won’t go wrong in life. He certainly lived by this, he was always doing a good deed for someone somewhere. 2020 what a year, a rollercoaster of emotions for our family with the arrival of a great grand daughter for mum and dad, Abigail Barbara who has bought us all so much joy, a shining light. Dads 80th birthday celebrations in March and the rapid decline of his dementia. His birthday was the last time we all got together for a family dinner at my place. It’s a family tradition for the birthday boy to give a speech and dads was a good one, as always he went around the table and praised each and every one of us on the good life we lived. He was so happy that all 3 girls were happily married to good men, Glen you were the missing piece in the puzzle, and that Lisa and Shaun had met their partners for life Jared and Olivia, he clasped his hands in the air and said mission accomplished! What makes me sad is that he often told me that he couldn’t be taken out in a box till all his family were safe and settled. Then Covid came and changed the way we live. I’m not sure if it was the sudden change to dads routine or the natural progression of his disease that caused his rapid decline and challenging behaviors. Amazingly he still knew us right up untill the end. Once he became bed ridden we were allowed to visit him for 12 hours a day and he would call us out by name to count if we were all there. When it was obvious that dad was nearing the end of his life a visit for Glenn and James and David and Lisa was allowed. They hadn’t seen dad since the end of May. Dad often asked why we couldn’t all get together anymore and I’d explain Covid. A few days before the end we were able to bring James Lisa and Abigail to his room to spend a few very special hours with dad, they snuggled up in bed with him and he had his first cuddle of baby Abigail who gooed and gahed till he opened his eyes and gooed back to her. And when James wrapped his arms around him he opened his eyes and said me mate me mate and patted James on the back. We will be forever grateful to the Masonic Village for allowing this visit, it was very special and will remain etched in our memories for ever. Mum would like me to thank the Shoalhaven Geriatrician team, whose guidance and support during the past few months was very much appreciated. We were told by Dementia Australia who we had councilling with that they were one of the best in the state, and we couldn’t agree more. Special mention to Steve Swan, Dr Balu and Dr Pham. A huge thank you to the staff at Basin View Masonic Village who provided comfort and support to our beautiful father in the last few months of his life. They all said what a lovely caring and well mannered man he was, always helping others. To Danielle and Leanne we thank you for helping dad and supporting our family with your professional knowledge. Thank you to all of our friends for your kind words and condolences, dropping off a meal or sending flowers, it means a lot to us. John Haynes, dad and poppy, What a legend, what a life. I invite each of you to keep my dad John alive in your hearts. He was a good man who added so much to every life that he touched. A constant positive presence in our lives. It was a privilege to have grown up being loved deeply by such a kind hearted man. Dads loving kindness and guidance of what is right and wrong has set us on the path to living our best life. We are who we are because you loved us, we will miss you dad.

J

The family of John Charles Haynes uploaded a photo

Thursday, October 8, 2020

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Rita and John Blumanis posted a condolence

Thursday, October 8, 2020

John, You cared for people and always tried to help them, Your greatest loves were family, your car and the Rabbitohs.We spent 35 years being neighbours and friends, working for the good of our neighbourhood in Lions and later in Rotary, and in later years reminiscing about the times spent together. REST IN PEACE

K

Karen Cunningham Posted Oct 9, 2020 at 1:45 AM

That is beautiful John and Rita. He is at peace now.

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John Charles Haynes

1940 - 2020

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